S02E08 - Secret Team
No: 18 |
Season: 2
Episode: 8 |
Air Date: 09-Sep-26 |
Runtime: 23 mins
Summary
Ned forms a secret team after he's told he can't cover an important story; Esmeralda forms her own covert squad to find out what Ned's secret team is up to.
Director and Writers
Director: Claire Scanlon
Writers: Mo Welch
Reviews
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Transcript
Script: S02E08 - Secret Team
Quotes
Mare: I was thinking of doing a story called "Downtown Downturn" about how fewer people are moving downtown.
Dan: Interesting. I like it. So, what's your angle?
Mare: You know, I don't know yet.
Jeanie: Ah, man. I was gonna do an "I don't know yet" story about two words that sound good together.
Todd: "Uptown, Up Yours." (all laugh)
Mare: I haven't felt anxiety like this since I was a kid and they had to give me prescription deodorant. They called me Pit Stain Pritti. It was good times.
Mare: They don't assign stories. You eat what you kill, and I'm like the lion the other lions are embarrassed to look at.
Mare: I just can't believe I'm gonna be fired and sent back home. Like someone who failed to impress RuPaul.
Mare: We've been having dinner over FaceTime. We call it "StuffYourFaceTime."
Ned: Wish we'd get another tornado. That was fun.
Ned: We got two deaths from the tornado. We have a woman who drove into a ravine, and her car filled up with water.
Adam: That's my number one fear.
Ned: And we have a guy who got blown off a roof.
Adam: My number two fear.
Esmeralda: This is what I should write about? A woman that dies in her little car because she forgot how doors work? How humiliating.
Detrick: How was storm chasing?
Travis: Um... I'm actually working on a screenplay about it. For a motion picture.
Detrick: Nice.
Travis: I'm gonna be calling it, um, Merry Twistmas.
Detrick: So it's like a tornado Christmas movie.
Nicole: I wanna report an official office relationship.
Lisa: Okay, juicy. Oh, my God. Who with?
Nicole: I was in a relationship with Detrick Moore.
Lisa: Okay, nice girl. He is cute.
Lisa: You only have to report it if it's like, a boss-employee thing. Like if The Beast was with Belle or some... No, if the Beast was with Mrs. Potts? Imagine that. Kinky, weird.
Nicole: I'm a person, not a teapot, okay?
Lisa: Guess what I'm thinking about now? The Beast railing Mrs. Potts. Thanks for that visual, right? "Oh, Beast. Tip me over and pour me out, innit."
Esmeralda: Ned is up to something. He's probably planning my next demotion, I can smell it, you know? You can't lie to this nose. That man loves to demote single moms.
Ned: Welcome to the first meeting of the Toledo Truth Teller Secret Team. Are you in?
Oscar: Is this going to be our regular meeting time?
Ned: I don't think there will be a standard time, Oscar, right?
Travis: I should off the bat say that Wednesdays are a no-go for me. My mom and I never miss Survivor night.
Oscar: Wait, no spoilers, please.
Travis: Okay. I'm two behind.
Ned: No, all right, we won't do Wednesdays.
Ned: Look at this photograph of the Glass Club rooftop building. Okay? Umbrellas and toupees everywhere. Yet the only thing to get blown off is a large nimble man. That is odd, right?
Esmeralda: What do you guys think? Are you willing to pledge your life to Esmeralda's Secret Team?
Adam: Can I tell my wife? I've never kept anything from Summer.
Esmeralda: That's not sexy at all. You must have some mystery.
Barry: Roxanne doesn't even know what Barry's short for. She doesn't even know where I work. She thinks I'm a cop.
Esmeralda: You will be on a very important mission. The mission of my secret team is to find out the mission of Ned's Secret Team.
Barry: Ned's got a secret team? Well, he must've got up pretty early in the morning to get that by me. I'm the eyes and ears of this place.
Adam: We should have a chant.
(Sneaking into Ned's office)
Esmeralda: We must snoop. Guys. Everybody snoop. Jesus, so many emails from Birkenstock.
Barry: Birkenstock? You got any coupon codes?
Adam: Hold up! He's got socks in here. And there's a name written on them. Look up Ned Hanes.
Esmeralda: (to the camera crew) There is no way that Adam is that stupid. Ned has got to him.
Esmeralda: (to Barry) Look at me, Barry. We are not talking. I think that Adam is a double agent.
Barry: Oh, you have the palsy. Roxanne has that as well.
Esmeralda: (to the camera crew) They got to Barry too.
Ned: Seing as how we're a secret team, maybe we should share some secrets.
Travis: Mm... For bonding purposes. Perhaps a blood oath. (pulls out a knife)
Ned: No.
Detrick: Yeah, I don't like blood.
Travis: I tried some of my birth dad's ashes. I put them in a juice, and I tried to absorb some of his power. And it didn't work.
Dan: I don't hate anybody, I just put up the NS board after Ned beat us at the Ohio Journalism awards and Marv sent me a pic with a snotty little caption about how their budget is half ours, and, I mean, you know what? (bleep) that ex-TP salesman.
Dan: Mare, how about you?
Mare: Um, yeah, the robotics team at Roger Bacon High made a bionic hand for a disabled pitcher. Now, he's starting and has a fastball that can touch 93.
Dan: Okay. Let's go, Mare. Bionic baseball, let's go.
Ned: It's murder, baby. It's murder. It's murder, baby!
All: (chanting) Murder. Murder. Murder.
Esmeralda: Joseph Stalin was able to get one underling to trick another underling into disloyalty. To save time, I'm going to do two at once.
Notes and Trivia
None
Goofs
None
Locations
Details about common locations, such as opening credits montage locations,
can be found here.
None
Cast
| Domhnall Gleeson | Ned Sampson |
| Sabrina Impacciatore | Esmeralda Grand |
| Chelsea Frei | Mare Pritti |
| Melvin Gregg | Detrick Moore |
| Gbemisola Ikumelo | Adelola Olofin |
| Alex Edelman | Adam Cooper |
| Ramona Young | Nicole Lee |
| Tim Key | Ken Davies (credit only) |
| Eric Rahill | Travis |
| Duane R. Shepard Sr. | Barry |
| Oscar Nunez | Oscar Martinez |
| Matt Braunger | Dan |
| Lisa Gilroy | Lisa Graysh |
| Martin Harris | Martin |
| Jon Lovitz | Todd Dumph |
| Toks Olagundoye | Jeanie Lever |
| Nina Siemaszko | AirB&B Guest |
| Lucy Burnett | Pizza Delivery Person |
| Katy Fullan | Amanda |
