Ken Quotes - The Paper
Ken quotes from the hit show "The Paper"
Ken: What is our Wirecutter? What is our Wordle? We need things which keep people's minds off the bloody news. You have to remember our core audience is people on toilets.
Ken: I am incredibly sorry about my limp. I hurt my foot last night... (sighs) At my match. Darts playoff final. We won. I scored the winning double.
Oscar: Hmm.
Ken: This happened afterwards. I was mugged. Nearly mugged, for the winnings and trophy.
Marv: (enters the room) Ken, I heard you dropped a dart on your foot?
Ken: This is just our bi-weekly budget meeting with Marv in which we have absolutely nothing unusual planned. And if I am rubbing my hands together slightly, it's because it's chilly in here.
Ned: I'll put them back once we're done.
Ken: Said the fox to the farmer. No, no, Ned. I'll put them back. Thank you. And I may electrify them. Or indeed electrify one, and you won't know which.
Ken: Enervate sells products made out of paper. So that might be office supplies. That might be janitorial paper, which is toilet tissue, toilet seat protectors, and local newspapers. And that is in order of quality.
Ken: Enervate is in good health, largely because of Softees. Enervate is Tom Brady, very healthy, very rich. The Truth Teller is a sick mouse hiding behind Tom Brady's fridge. Now, Tom Brady, he likes mice. But this mouse is f**ked.
