Oscar Quotes - The Paper
Oscar quotes from the hit show "The Paper"
Oscar: The Truth Teller was nominated in this year's Ohio Journalism Awards. You heard right. The Truth Teller. Three times, in fact. Mare for her great story on the Softees clog, Ned for The Truth Teller itself, and a fresh-faced new upstart, heh, named Oscar Martinez for the Mr. Digit Puzzle. Best New Game.
Oscar: (accepting his award) You know what? I want to dedicate... this win to a group that doesn't get enough attention, the documentary film crew that's been following me around for the better part of 20 years. I'm sorry I pushed you guys away before. I think you guys are the only ones who really see me. And, um... I guess I was put on earth to be a documentary subject.
Oscar: Did we both not see the same thing tonight? Marv is in love with Ann. Probably has been for decades.
Ned: He's principled.
Oscar: Denying two people a lifetime of happiness is principled?
Ned: Ann works for him.
Oscar: So? He can get another job. Or he can stop being paralyzed by what other people think of him. A great man once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." ... Also an idiot I used to know.
Oscar: New comment on my South Pacific review at the Stranahan? "Do you get paid by the adverb over there? Write less pretentiously, a**hat."
Adelola: Oh, man. Gomudhens10 strikes again.
Oscar: I wanna find them. I wanna find them and-- and grab them and just... Explain to them how funny it is, the whole scenario, how amusing it is to me. That's all. Because you can't-- But you can't because it's computers and it's internet, so you can't tell them 'cause you can't find them... -'cause there's no way--
Detrick: You can track down their IP address.
Oscar: IP address?
Detrick: Yeah, it's traceable.
Oscar: I can track them.
Travis: No, no, no, Oscar. Look at me, dude. Revenge is a very dark road and it can be surprisingly expensive.
Oscar: Your mom sure is something, huh?
Matteo: Yeah.
Oscar: Hey, did you ever hear of gray rocking?
Matteo: No.
Oscar: It's what I use on my mom. My mom's a pretty toxic narcissist. She loves drama. So whenever she got into one of her moods, I'd make myself as uninteresting as possible, like a little gray rock.
Matteo: Gray rocking, huh? Thank you.
Oscar: (aside to the camera crew) Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved, but I just wanted to give the kid a fighting chance. Oh, and the little I'm-like-you routine? Don't believe it? My mother was a saint.
Matteo: (aside to the camera crew) That old man's a narcissist if he thinks I'm gonna listen to him over my own mom. That guy doesn't buy my Wendy's.
Oscar: (To the camera crew) Just because I'm writing for the paper doesn't mean I want to be a part of this documentary. I don't. So let me be ultra-clear, the only reason I am doing this is to promote my art and leisure beat.
Oscar: Saying that work is fun is a form of pressure. Quite frankly, it's giving me PTSD from an old boss.
Marv: Good! Glad we figured that out.
Ken: I'm glad we figured it out.
Esmeralda: I'm glad we figured that out. Wow, ha, ha! (to Oscar) You're such a little whiz kid.
Oscar: Ha! Whiz kid. I'm 55, but thank you.
Esmeralda: So little whiz guy.
Oscar: (to the camera crew) Okay, fine. I'm 59. You got me.
(Text appears on screen: "Oscar Martinez is 61 years old")
Oscar: (on his phone) Did you get my text? I made it! Heh! It's in today's paper. Well, is it too easy? Is it too hard? What do you think? Huh? (LAUGHS) Maybe too easy for you, Stanley!
Oscar: (to the film crew) God, not again. I'm not agreeing to any of this. Don't you guys have enough after nine years? Nobody wants this! You know what, you can't use my voice, my likeness, my face, nothing. [The following text is displayed: Yes we can. There's no end date on the release Oscar signed in 2005.]
Oscar: Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm not playing. I will make this unusable. [BLEEP]. Use that.
