Barry Quotes - The Paper
Barry quotes from the hit show "The Paper"
Barry: Esmeralda, I'm leaving your secret team to go work with the other secret team.
(They enter Barry's apartment and notice it has a nautical theme)
Barry: Single file, please. (he rings a bell) Welcome aboard. Window's over there. Glass Club's that way. The head is in the stern. And you'll address me as captain.
Oscar: (to the camera crew) We all instinctively know not to talk about the fact that Barry lives in Spongebob's apartment.
Barry: It's not that I don't like Esmeralda. It's just that my desk is 50 feet away from the bathroom. If I go 94 times a day, I get my steps in. But if I have to move it closer, then I've got to go the bathroom more than a hundred times a day, and people might think I'm weird.
Barry: I envy what Adam and Summer have... Sex!
Ned: Everyone cares about potholes. Right guys?
Mare: You know, there's a huge one near where I live. It's so big it looks infected.
Ned: Why don't we check it out?
Mare: Yeah.
Ned: Great. Let's do it.
Barry: What are we checking out?
Adelola: Mare's pothole.
Adam: It's infected.
Ned: I realized I have a meeting right now. Let's pick it up in like half an hour.
Mare: Sweet.
Barry: (hands Mare a tube of ointment) Cleared mine right up.
Esmeralda: (After kissing Barry) You have been kissing on the 17th day of the month. I command you to forsake me! Set me free, set me free, set me free. The spell is broken. (walks away)
Barry: Okay, fine.
Barry: It's a damn disaster. My girlfriend's from this neighborhood, and she's been living in my apartment this whole time.
Oscar: It is true the city is taking its time fixing the clog. Residents are stuck using porta-potties.
Barry: There's porta-potties? Come on, Roxanne.
Adelola: Learning about the catfishing today has been a real eye-opener. It has given me the tools needed to extract $1400 from six old men.
Barry: (To the camera crew) I just gave Adelola $300. She doesn't know it was me. I catfished her.
Barry: I once knocked out Muhammad Ali.
Detrick: And?
Barry: And what?
Barry: The word jumble is kind of a head-scratcher today.
Nicole: We don't have a word jumble anymore, Barry.
(Barry has been circling random words on the front page of the paper.)
